


In Like Ed

by UncommonVillian



Series: Star Wars Tales [5]
Category: Ed Edd n Eddy, Naruto, Star Wars - All Media Types, Team Fortress 2
Genre: Deathwatch TFC, Mandalorian Naruto and Sakura, Other Fandoms Not Mentioned in Tags, Smuggler Eds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-03-28 12:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13904484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UncommonVillian/pseuds/UncommonVillian
Summary: With Deathwatch's arsenal growing for unknown reasons, Naruto and Sakura hire the Eds to sneak around to figure out who has been supplying Deathwatch.Based off of the EEE episode "In Like Ed".





	In Like Ed

"C'mon, Sakura!" Naruto whined as Sakura dragged him through the Gall Spaceport. She was stern in their meeting and Naruto wanted to be elsewhere, whining the whole way like a little child. She even commandeered his ship with him inside to bring him out to the Zhar System. As she tugged on his ear, he continued to whine, "Why do I have to be here?"

"Because they'll listen to you." she replied. The "they" she meant were the best smugglers in the Outer Rim Territories known as the Eds, called that because they all were named Ed. There was the captain named Eddy, a rather short and plump young man with a pension for gambling and making easy money. There was Ed, the brawn and heavy lifter of the team, but hardly a bright young man. He was known for having a very childlike behavior and wasn't at all smart. Edd, or Double D as he was often called, was the brain of the group. He was the one who would set up the missions and the jobs and would often be their key to success, Eddy taking credit for his work. Despite that, they were the best team to handle some of the most delicate jobs across the Outer Rim, even expanding to the Core Worlds.

In the past, the Eds had done many jobs for the Mandalorians and would often be called upon if needed. This brought them to Naruto, who didn't trust them at first due to them being smugglers and he often called them cheats and thieves. However, when him and his team were trapped in the Dune Sea of Tattooine by raiders, the Eds swooped in and saved them and brought them back to safety. Ever since, Naruto remained in the dept. In their time, the Eds and Naruto began to grow respect for each other. Their relationship grew to the point that even greedy Eddy would do jobs for the young Mandalorian for free.

However, this time was more serious than ever before and Naruto was needed to talk to the Eds. There was another Mandalorian Civil War and this was between the Mandalorians and the vicious splinter group Deathwatch that broke off from the warrior race and embraced the life of being barbaric mercenaries and blood thirsty murders. Though Deathwatch was small, numbering in only nine with each member being a special class of military, heavy weapons, medic, scout and so on, they were all equally brutal. They would cut down any Mandalorian group that went after them, leaving hardly any survivors. Now their weaponry was growing more advance, far more advanced than they could acquire on their own. The only option that came to mind was that they were having weapons smuggled to them. The only way to find out was to ask their only contacts in the underworld. Since Naruto and Sakura were close to the Eds and the Eds were the ones to know where to turn, Sakura and Naruto went to Gall to meet up with them.

Still dragging him by his ear, Sakura pulled Naruto into the hanger that the Outrider, the Eds' YT-2400 freighter, was docked. Despite it being one of, if not, the fastest ships in the galaxy and modified to have the latest in shielding and upgraded technology and weaponry and has deflector shields that can withstand any canon fire, the ship was an eyesore. It wasn't in need of any repairs and the design was sleek and agile, the paint job the Eds gave it was atrocious. It was mostly deep purple with orange flames going across the bow of the ship. Naruto's Firespray ship was criticized by mostly everyone, including his father who gave him the ship, for having the unoriginal color of his armor in black and orange, but everyone could agree that the color of the Outrider didn't give it justice.

Double D was working on the components of the ship, Ed was just goofing around with a speeder door, making noises and pretending to be a delivery droid. Eddy was rifling through one of their crates filled with confiscated items that were left on the ship to sell, commenting on Ed's behavior. Naruto and Sakura heard Eddy ask Ed, "Did you eat breakfast this morning, Ed?"

"Boys." Sakura called out, letting go of Naruto's ear. All of the Eds looked at them and greeted them. Sakura greeted back and told them, "Listen guys, we've got a very important job for you."

Eddy told her, "Can't, we're busy."

"With what?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

"It's Auction Day." Double D told her. "Today everyone gathers what spare loot they have and auction them off to the highest bidder."

"Look, we'll pay you more than what they'll offer." Sakura replied.

"You heard them, Sakura." Naruto said, rubbing his ear. "If they don't want to, lets not make them. Bye, guys."

Naruto was about to leave when Sakura grabbed the collar of his flak vest. She pulled him back next to her and glared at him. Eddy just laughed out loud, making a "ball and chain" comment.

"Look boys, this is very important!" Sakura demanded as she threw Naruto to his knees. "Deathwatch is armed with weapons they couldn't possibly get on their own."

"And that means what to us?" Eddy asked.

"We're chasing down every lead we've got, so far nothing. One idea we have is that they could be smuggling them in through the black market."

"Ain't us. We steer clear of the black market. Too much risk." Eddy commented.

"I know it!" Naruto cheered the boys on. "You guys are the most honest, thieving, conniving crooks I've ever met! Believe it!"

Though Naruto got slapped in the head by Sakura, Ed blushed and replied to the compliment, "Awww, shucks!"

"Listen boys, we aren't accusing you of anything. We know you guys fly straight. Well, almost." Sakura said. "But somehow Deathwatch is getting their hands on some heavy duty weapons and they're advancing through any stand against them. Not just Mandalorians, but Republic soldiers and Jedi alike."

"We know you guys have access to the Smugglers Guild and know of some people that can gain employment through the black market." Naruto said. "We need to cut them off and find out who's giving them their weapons and take down the smuggling ring that's giving them the weapons."

"Naruto's right. If Deathwatch keep growing in arsenal, then everyone's in trouble, especially if they decide to line up with the Empire."

Eddy looked back to his crew mates, skeptical at the proposition. They however were interested. Double D knew that if it's true and Deathwatch were getting dangerous weapons, then it meant trouble for everyone. Ed always loved adventure so he would have wanted to go. Eddy thought only about money, since this was Auction Day, he was hoping for a good catch. However, he had to put his mind at the other two for once. He knew Double D thought about the danger and Ed wanted the adventure, and he thought in this case, they were right.

"We want payment up front." Eddy demanded. Naruto smirked as he stood up and tossed a large sack of credits. Eddy picked it up and looked at the gold chips inside. There had to be ten thousand credits inside, more than enticing. He gave the sack to Ed and said, "We know our competition is having a little shindig on Nar Shaddaa. Kevin's been in league with Hutts in the past and you don't get more black market than with those oversized slugs."

"Any information would be great, boys." Naruto said. "We'll come with you guys and be close by. Believe it."

* * *

 To avoid the attention, The Eds and Naruto docked in separate ports. While Naruto was on standby, the Eds were gearing up for their mission. Though they had their DL-44s holstered, Double D thought that stealth would be better than action.

"I've created a few top secret devices in order to scrutinize Kevin's master plan." Double D said as he opened his locker on the ship. He went through some items and pulled one out, cheering, "Behold!"

"It's a mop! So what?" Eddy groaned.

"This covert household utensil," Double D explained as he brushed the mop to reveal a small transmitter. "contains a tiny radio transmitter that-"

"Yawn." Eddy interrupted.

Double D, bothered that Eddy didn't like his idea, pulled out another item and said, "How about a bucket that hold an audio recorder hidden in a false bottom?"

"Quit holding out, Double D!" Eddy shouted as he started rummaging through Double D's locker. "Where's the smoke screen? Oil slick? Laser watches?"

Double D was about to protest, but Ed asked him holding an item Eddy threw out the locker, "Uh Double D, what's this do?"

"That's just a coat hanger, Ed."

"Whoa! Mum's the word." Ed stared at the hook of the hanger in amazement.

"Wait a minute." Eddy gasped, pulling out a round white object. "I found a jawbreaker!"

"Ed, stop! No!" Double D pleaded as Eddy began to slip the object into his mouth, but he caught it before Eddy could close his jaw. Holding the sphere up, Double D explained, "It may look like a jawbreaker, but it's really a powder vapor barrier for quick escapes. Why, just one lick-"

"Bananas!" Ed called out, holding a clunky item in the hook of the hanger.

"Wow, gimmie that! A jetpack!" Eddy exclaimed as he slipped the jetpack on.

"Please Eddy, I'm still testing it!" Double D begged.

Eddy started it up and it levitated him up and out of their ship and into the hanger bay. As he landed on his feet, he called out to Double D, "Woohoo, works fine, Double D!"

Eddy powered the thrusters and flew right over Ed and Double D as they exited the ship. As he watched Eddy fly around the hanger, Double D called out to him holding a clipboard, "But we still need to pick codenames, Eddy!"

"I am The Claw." Ed proclaimed, holding up the hook of the coat hanger that he cut off. He reached his arms up and said, "And The Claw wishes to fly too!"

When Eddy flew over Ed, he got his vest caught on Ed's hook and the jetpack detached and flew out of the hanger and into the city.

"Nice one, Ed." Eddy groaned, watching the jetpack fly off.

"Thanks, Eddy!" Ed cheered.

"All that hard work." Double D sulked. He brightened up when an alarm inside the ship went of and all three ran back inside. They ran for the cockpit and Double D sat at the communications seat and turned on the screen. He told the others, "It's the Kevin-motion alert! We're receiving a transmission!"

On the screen, it showed the Eds' biggest rival, Kevin, dressed to the nines in standard smuggler's garb and holding a package under his arm.

"What's he holding? Zoom-Zoom in! Zoom in!" Eddy frantically pulled the zoom lever of the camera. He grabbed Ed and asked, "Where'd you hide the camera?"

"Only The Claw knows." Ed said holding and shaking his hook.

On screen, Kevin looked into the camera and gasped. The camera was placed right outside the door to his dwelling. Kevin knew right away who was responsible and he was not happy. He glared angrily into the camera lens and growled, "Dorks!" Then the screen when to static.

"We've lost visual contact. We need to switch to field surveillance, Eddy." Double D said as he pulled himself from his seat. As he ran out of the ship, he called back, "I'll explain on the way!"

"The Claw is needed!" Ed proclaimed as he threw his hook up.

"Get going!" Eddy shouted as he pushed Ed away. "You almost poked me in the head with that stupid thing!"

* * *

 

The Promenade was lively and colorful with merchants, solicitors, patrons and Twi'Lek dancers. Kevin couldn't help but glance at the lovely alien species as he walked passed them. In his love struck stupor, he didn't notice that Eddy was leaning against the stairwell to the upper level, reading a newspaper. However, this image was just a seemingly unnecessary ruse by Eddy because his image was merely a hologram for the real Eddy was hiding under the stairwell.

Eddy pulled out his comlink and radioed, "Loudmouth to the Projector. Do you read me?"

"The Professor, Eddy! I'm the Professor!" Double D radioed back to him.

"Whatever. Big Chin has made contact."

"Copy that, Loudmouth."

Kevin met up with his partner, Rolf. The two were having small talk that both Eddy and Double D tried to listen in on, but the loud banter that all the people around them were having was blocking it. After a while, the two walked off into the upper levels of the Promenade, both of them eyeing up giggling dancers that walked past them. Their attention was drawn to a strange sight even for Nar Shaddaa. Ed was leaning against the wall, painted gold and looked like a statue.

"I think Ed found his calling in life, huh Rolf?" Kevin asked his partner.

"Ed boy reminds me to water my yam." Rolf replied. Though Rolf didn't understand it, Kevin found this humorous.

Ed dropped his facade and watch Kevin and Rolf walk off towards the speeder bay. There waiting was Ed's little sister and aspiring smuggler Sarah. She worked for Kevin due to not wishing to work for her "idiot brother and his idiot friends". As the two met up with Sarah, Rolf said something but it was drowned out by a passing speeder. Before taking off, Sarah cautiously looked around the bay and flew off.

"A code of some sorts!" Double D said as he and his partners gathered to watch the speeder fly off, thinking that's what Rolf was saying.

"This is big!" Eddy smirked at the prospect. Eddy and Double D left to find a speeder, but Ed stayed behind to watch their target fly off. Double D then reached over and pulled Ed by his ear to follow them.

* * *

 At one of the levitating stronghold that Nar Shaddaa was known for, Rolf, Kevin and Sarah all gathered with the rest of their crew, Sarah's close friend Jimmy and their oddball crew mate Jonny 2x4 and his dead droid Plank. They all conversed about with each other and shared drinks and small snacks. Outside the stronghold's main foyer window, a small prob droid levitated as it looked in. The droid was being controlled by Double D as he and his friends all sat in a speeder outside the stronghold. The droid was transmitting a visual link to his tablet and they were watching the gathering.

"They appear to be some clandestine order bent on the exchange of classified intelligence." Double D commented.

"Ah-ha!" Eddy slammed his fist into his hand, but didn't understand what Double D said. "Say what?"

"It's a meeting of spies, Eddy."

"Oh let me, Double D!" Ed cheerful pushed Double D away so he could see the tablet screen. "I love spies."

"Get in line." Eddy shoved Ed away and took control of the droid. He scanned the room and saw that everyone was gathering around Jimmy, thinking he was the brains of the outfit. He then turned his attention to a table covered in packages and told Ed and Double D, "Oh yeah! It's the parcels! I bet they're loaded with..." Eddy was not know for his expanded vocabulary so he slowly repeated Double D's words "...in-telli-gence."

"Very good, Eddy!" Double D cheered.

"Hehe, not bad huh?" Eddy proudly proclaimed. "Let's mingle and shut down this operation."

As he turned to look at the screen, he wasn't aware that Ed had moved the screen away and sat in it's place. With Ed moving the screen, the droid flew out into open traffic and crashed into a passing speeder. Eddy looked into Ed's eyes, not aware that the screen wasn't there until Ed commented that Eddy has "sleepies" in his eyes. Eddy groaned in frustration and ordered them to move out.

* * *

There was a advertising sign near the stronghold that Ed climbed up on. Looking around for clearance, Ed activated a grappling gun and fired it. The hook locked onto the stronghold's steam chimney and he tied the cable to the sign. He wrapped a strong wire around the cable for support and zip lined across the massive chasm. He tried to swing himself onto the balcony but he instead slammed into the wall. The impact was so strong that it shook the wall and everyone looked at it startled.

Eddy and Double D used Ed's antics as a chance to sneak into the part disguised as servant droids. Double D's disguise was all but perfect in the protocol droid suit, but Eddy's was pretty clunky and part's keep falling off. Eddy was passing out drinks while Double D used the visors of the helmet he was wearing to scan the packages. As he went about the stronghold, Eddy was dropping audio receivers everywhere. He even snuck into the backrooms and slipped some around the rooms. Double D continued to scan the packages, but they only contained rare items from the furthest parts of the galaxy. He was beginning to have doubts whether or not there was really anything going on with Kevin and his team.

"Double D, Big Chin's heading into a back room!" Eddy called over his radio.

Double D turned to see Kevin sneaking into one of the back rooms of the apartment. He adjusted his earpiece to pick up the frequency of the device Eddy placed in the room. He was hearing footsteps, but not just Kevin's. He heard multiple, some were heavy too.

"I told you that we'd get the gear you needed." he heard Kevin said to his guest. "It wasn't easy but we got the canons you needed. The supplier told me that you'd know how to work them."

"Damn straight." a gruff voice replied, but Double D recognized the voice. He was the head of Deathwatch. He was here on Nar Shaddaa in person, that's a first. He usually sent one of his goons out to collect their gear, but here he was. Double D raised the volume and listened in on the conversation as the Deathwatch emissary continued, "These are great. The Konoha brat and his little ragtag group of twerps won't stand a chance. Once we take them out, the Empire will beg to have us on their side. True Mandalorian might will be their greatest weapon and we'll have the best pay ever."

"Speaking of pay." Kevin replied. "We went through a lot of 'aggressive red tape' to get these. I think a little extra compensation is in order."

"Ha, you're a funny kid." the Deathwatch leader replied. After a moment of silence, he asked, "You're being serious aren't ya?"

"Hell yeah!" Kevin replied. "We went through hell and back to get you this! It's not like the suppliers on Jakku can simply hand them over to us! We've got competition out there, and not just the dorks! Every scum sucker and nerf herder in the galaxy wants their stock so I think some hazard pay would be nice!"

"Don't kid yourself. What you and your group of rejects put up with is nothing compared to what we deal with. You would never make in as a Mandalorian even if you tried. You'll be paid what we give you."

"I don't have to give these to you, you know! I know plenty in the Hutt Cartel that would love to get their hands on these weapons we give you for triple than what you give us!"

Kevin raising his voice caused feedback from both the receiver and Double D's earpiece, causing a loud squeal from his helmet. Everyone in the room looked at him and watched what looked to be a droid wince in pain. The feedback caused Kevin to storm out of the room and look about the apartment. Everyone pointed at Double D for Kevin and he walked over to pull his helmet off, revealing Double D's shocked face.

"Well, well, look at what the dire cat dragged in." Kevin smirked as he pulled out his pistol. He grabbed the earpiece off of Double D and observed it, "Listening device complete with recorder? Clever little dork." Kevin then crushed the device in his hand.

With everyone looking at Double D, Eddy tried to sneak out, but his disguise crumbled apart due to lack of proper attachment. Rolf grabbed Eddy and pushed him next to Double D before pulling out his pistol. With both boys rounded up, the large brutish Deathwatch leader came out of the room and smirked at them.

"Looks like we've got some spies here." he said as he pulled his Westar from its holster. Him, Kevin and Rolf pointed their blasters at the boys and he said, "I'm sure Uzumaki sent you. I'll send you back to him in pieces."

Then a luxury speeder crashed backwards through the large observation window next to them, Ed piloting it. He looked to his friends and cheered, "Look what I found!"

Double D and Eddy jumped in and pulled the vapor barrier ball out of the pack Ed hand and tossed it into the stronghold, shouting, "You'll never take us alive!"

The ball hit the ground and exploded into a massive cloud of white dust, covering the entire stronghold. The Eds drove off before being covered and the Deathwatch leader jumped back into the room to cover himself, but everyone else was covered and blinded. The Deathwatch leader jumped back out into the room full of coughing partiers and ordered at Kevin, "Get them! Get a speeder and get after them!"

Kevin dusted off his wristband and pressed the button to summon his speeder bike. It flew into the room and he climbed on to go after the Eds. Though the Eds had some distance, he caught up with them with no problem. He flew behind them and fired the speeder's gun at them. Blaster bolts bounced off of the hull of the speeder but the Eds ducked it avoid the firing. Eddy pulled an EE-3 out and fired on Kevin, but the speeder was faster. Kevin dodged every blast Eddy fired and he returned fire. He finally had them in his sights, shouting at them, "I've got you, dorks!...Uh oh!"

Kevin looked up to see Naruto's ship, Slave I, lowering itself ahead of them and began to fire on Kevin's speeder. Kevin veered out of the line of fire and nearly crashed into a statue of a Hutt, but he ended up losing control and began to lowering into a crowded platform. Patrons jumped out of the way as he hit the ground and slid across the floor on his speeder. It crashed into a cement garden display and he flew right into the garden. Everyone crowded around the crash and gasped at him standing up. He caught is breath and looked up to see the Eds and Slave I fly of into the city. In his rage, he growled and shouted, "Dorks!"

* * *

 

In the hanger Naruto and Sakura docked Slave I, the Eds met with them, Double D presenting them with the recording.

"Kevin though he smashed my only recording device." Double D smirked. "But I always come up with a back up plan."

"You guys did good!" Naruto smiled. "We've got proof that Deathwatch is getting their weapons from the Black Market on Jakku. We can go in and take care of them our way. Believe it!"

"Not only that, but we can take some for ourselves." Sakura proclaimed. She turned to the Eds and asked, "In addition to your pay, would you boys like some of that arsenal? Free of charge!"

"Nah, we don't need military weapons." Eddy replied. "Our business is to stay out of the war."

Eddy, it may be a better idea to at least have proper weaponry for our next job." Double D said. "I mean this job is taking us to one of the roughest spots in the Core Worlds."

Naruto, curious as to where this "job" was going to take them, asked Double D, "Where are you guys heading?"

"Gotham City on Coruscant." Double D told him.

"Wow, you guys weren't kidding." Naruto gasped. "I hear it gets pretty hairy down there."

"It is one of the worst spots on Coruscant." Sakura commented. "It's amazing that that's where all best weaponry for the Capital Military Force comes from."

"Last we heard, crime is slowly dropping." Eddy said, crossing his arms. "Especially after what happened to that Rodian scum Jilkoo Gobs."

"We know him." Sakura groaned. Naruto was confused but Sakura told him, "He was that putrid Rodian that tricked us into that trap that almost got Lee and Tenten killed. Heard he took a spill from one of the Upper City's towers and fell right down to Level 1. The pressure alone killed him."

"That's not what I heard." Ed fearfully said. "I heard the Bat got to him."

Eddy groaned, "'That Bat?' Aw c'mon, Ed! That's a wives tale!"

"What's the 'Bat'?" Naruto asked.

"Apparently some wacko who dresses up in bat costume to fight off criminals in the Gotham City underworld." Eddy said. "Gotham Police say it's all a load and I believe it." Sakura asked why and he said, "For one thing, this crap Chancellor has finally shown some notice to what the people of Gotham are dealing with on a regular day and he sent in a full on S.W.A.T. force down there to help clean it up."

"But Eddy, you forget that most of them were lost in that incident in the Narrows." Double D corrected him. Naruto and Sakura weren't aware of what happened and Double D told them, "A group of terrorists poisoned Gotham's water supply and tried to vaporize it with a machine to turn the city's water supply into a fog emitting a hallucinogen. This poison was a formula that once breathed in, the victim would be subjected to horrifying hallucinations. They only got to the Narrows but were stopped. The machine was destroyed, but so was the Narrows."

"They say that the Batman stopped it!" Ed cheerfully commented.

"Lighten up." Eddy groaned. "Yeah, the Narrows thing actually happened, but no Bat stopped it."

"How do you know this, Eddy?" Sakura asked, curious as to why he would be so dismissive.

"Because that drug thing was the first time anyone ever seen or heard of this 'Batman'." Eddy said. "Ever since, every criminal syndicate and every dealer in Gotham was beginning to be brought down and everyone thinks it's this 'Bat'. I say that stuff from the Narrows is still in the air. Plus, there's crime all over the lower levels. Why is he just in Gotham?"

"Well, last I heard, Gotham had the worst crime rate in the lower levels." Naruto said. "Maybe he just wants to help."

"Yeah, whatever." Eddy rolled his eye. "The only masked freak we've encountered in Gotham was this crazy broad dressed up like a cat. She tried to make off with some iron were were smuggling in, but she tuck tail and ran. Where was this so called Batman?"

"Gotham is a breeding ground for oddballs." Sakura agreed.

"Look, I'd love to stay and chat, but we got you what you need." Eddy said. "We'll send you the bill. We've got a job to do."

"You guys got a job that fast?" Naruto asked.

"It had to wait until after Auction Day." Double D told him. "Our client in Gotham is very understandable."

"We'll put in a good word for ya." Eddy said as he lead his team away to their speeder. "If you two ever end up in Gotham, out client is always hiring. Look up Bruce Wayne."


End file.
